Friday, March 16, 2012

How much is too much?

My dad died two weeks ago and since then I’ve really been evaluating my life and it seems the one question that keeps popping in my mind over and over again in every aspect of my existence is “How much is too much?” How much inconsideration should you take from a friend? How much money is too much to spend on luxury items? How much weight loss is too much weight loss? How much should you deny your heart its true desire? How much alcohol is too much alcohol***… LMAO The list goes on and on. Last weekend I stood in the garden and I took a look around and that was the question I pondered to myself. How much garden is too much garden?

***Note to readers*** Weeding is sooooooooooooooooo much more pleasant after a Bloody Mary or two in the early evening!

Bloody Mary

I decided it was time to start making some changes. At a time when most people are busy planting things I’ve been busy digging them up. I’ve been busting my butt removing plants from the garden. Some of those shrubs and plants have been there for 4 years now and have a huge root ball. It’s been hard work but it’s long overdue. It took me two days to get one of them out. So far I’m pleased with my progress I just really hate throwing away so many plants. It seems like such a waste… I contacted my local master gardener’s office offering to donate the plants. I figured they could divide them up and repot them to sell in their annual plant show. I never got a response from my email though. I stay so busy I only have specific days and times to devote to the garden so I have to do the work then. I can’t put it off in hopes of finding a solution for the wasted plants. I thought of shipping them out to other gardening friends but postage is just too costly. See! There we go again. How much money is too much to spend to keep from wasting it by throwing away plants? LOL


At least the birds are happy. There seems to be a lot more in the back yard this year than usual and they seem particularly comfortable with me for some reason. They stay very close to me turning their little heads sideways watching me and listening to me grunt as I struggle to get my chores done. They pretend to be interested in me, but I know they’re only in it for the worms. Every time I pull something out they are guaranteed a full belly from all the earthworms I uncover. I took you a few pictures of the plants that are trying to justify their space in the garden right now. I hope you enjoy them.



'Amelia Rose' Azalea

Amelia Rose

'Alba Plena'

Alba Plena

'Ice Wings'

Ice Wings

'Zephirine Drouhin'

Zephirine Drouhin

'Trouper Orange'

Trouper Orange

'Alba' Italian Jasmine

Itailian Jasmine


'Rosea' Chocolate Vine





I hope this post finds you all doing well and enjoying spring.

*** A little update, the Master Gardeners are taking the plants. Yay!***


Gary said...


Please except my condolences on the passing of your father. As for your questioning about, “How much is too much?” I would personally not begin to pretend I have those answers, but if you come up with anything I would love to hear them, I have been asking myself the same.

I am a little shocked that the master gardener’s did not jump right on you offer. The various gardening organizations around here will even come and collect donated plants themselves and be appreciative for them. So your experience has me curious. Anyway, have you thought about setting the plant out by the curb with a sign, “Free Plants For Taking” ? Just a thought, maybe you would not have to cart them off then, just a thought.

As for your avian companions, I have a whole Snow White take on that one for you, but will not embarrass myself here with it (wink). Hoping for a chuckle there…

The flowers, as always, are “GOURGOUS”!!!

Well I guess I have rambled on to much, it was good hearing / seeing from you. Hope goes well answer seeking. Take care. – gary

Antique ART Garden said...

Very sorry to hear about your father, do remember that he still lives in you, he is always a part of you.
Too much, not enough, too little, too late...self-evaluation is good , your mind is trying to figure out the why am I here and what is the point of our lives ?
Keep letting the birds watch you play in your garden, ripping un-useful and going-nowhere plants ( and habits), is very productive !

Les said...

I am sorry to hear about your father. Time in the garden and an occasional bloody Mary will help heal.

Lisa at Greenbow said...

You have had a rough year. I am sorry to hear about your Dad.

Eliminating what you don't want in the garden should be good for you. Keep at it.

Your blooms are beautiful. The birds know a good thing when they see it.

The Redneck Rosarian said...

So sorry for your loss. Most of my garden was planted out of loss. Its blooms now in a different of my own life, bring much joy.

Randy said...

I can always count on you to keep reading no matter how scarce my posting gets! It’s sincerely appreciated. Snow White take? I’d really be interested in hearing that. LOL ;0)

I know your story… You are certainly not stranger to grief. I couldn’t imagine what you must have gone thru… It seems the last three years have been a major time of reflection for me. Thank you so much for your well wishes. :0)

It’s always good to hear from you! Thank you so much for continuing to read my blog even during a time of very scarce posting.

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa,
You know I forgot, you know the whole story don’t you… You know what they say though? What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Hugs to you! As always good to see you! Thank you for sticking with me thru all this. :0)

Hey there Chris!
Thank you for your kind words. :0) When is the show this year?

Becca's Dirt said...

You have some pretty blooms especially those stunning roses. I understand when you have to be physical and just well pull things out of the ground. Been there done that. It kinda feels good. Hope you are able to give the plants away. The last pic of the yellow rose - stunning.

Randy said...

Thanks Becca! It's just time to redo a few things. I've threatening to for a while now. I'm finally putting my money where my mouth is. LOL I suppose I should really go back and label those photos.

Wayne said...

Randy, change is all that's guaranteed in life, especially the garden. Where that pond is in my yard, is where I grew vegetables for many years. I don't do vegetables any more. But I sometimes wish i still did. Only if someone else could do all the work. :-)
And your in my readers list. I always know when you post. :-)

Carolyn Choi said...

Hey Randy,

The passing of a parent is always traumatic and makes us stop and reflect.

Love looking at your beautiful 'bama garden. I've re-located to N.C. and now I can grow some of the same plants you have. Just passed the most wonderful winter since my youth in 'bama.

Skeeter said...

Sorry for you loss... I am glad the Master Gardeners are taking the plants. It would have been such a waste to dig them all up and no one want them. Now they will find new gardens to delight...

Randy said...

Carolyn are you inching back home? :0)Actually, I'm hoping to retire in North Carolina. I LOVE it there! So glad you popped in on me for a visit. :-)

Randy said...

I'm really happy they are getting them too. She said she has an email list that she just sends out, basically saying, “Hey I’ve put this out by the road one of ya’ll come get it.” She said someone usually gets it. I thought well that’s a great idea. Maybe they will add me to their list. I’m glad I’m making these changes. Some things I really like were being choked out and it will give me room to plant more plants that are better suited for the garden. It’s a win win situation.

tina said...

Sorry about the loss of your father.

I think you can't trust emails when trying to get a response because perhaps the right person did not get the email. I know in my county folks would've been there pretty fast to help you with your plants and would be happy to take them. I say try again. is another place people can be contacted and will come to your house to get some plants. I give away irises on it all the time.

A garden has to please you and if removing your plants and slowing down is what you need then it's so good you can do it.

Randy said...

Hey there Tina!
What my plan consist of is removing the high maintenance plants that require so much attention. Invasive ones and ones that require constant pruning and winter clean up. :0)

Bridget said...

Hi Randy...I stumbled upon your blog and got to reading; I know this is really old and I have no idea if you'll ever see this, but if so...I just wanted to say, I think you may have answered your question with your last comment (at least partially) "people" or "things" in your life that are so high maintenance, so invasive, that it's choking out the good stuff, the stuff that really matters; that brings happiness to you, or enriches your life-those are the things that are "too much". That's when you have to make the decision to draw the line, and sometimes it's really hard to make that decision, to know what bridges to burn. But I kind of like that saying,"water the seeds, not the weeds". Also-even though it's been a long time since your father passed, I know from personal experience (my father's passing) that you never do 'get over' it...the people you loved. My dad died in 1999, and I miss him just as much as ever, even after all this time. One night recently I saw a tv show interviewing billy bob Thornton.. He lost his brother, and it was really heart wrenching for him. He said something that made so much sense to me-I never had been able to express it in words, but he finally did. He said," you NEVER will get over it. And I realized that that's okay. Once you 'accept' that fact, it helps you to deal with it." He said," I figure that the grief that I feel, is my way of honoring his memory" (that's not an 'exact' quote, but you get the jist of it) Ever since I heard that, it helped me make sense of things... Because I couldn't understand why I still grieved so much or would cry my eyes out sometimes, like it had just happened?! But hearing that-it all made sense. So! I hope maybe perhaps that might help you too :) even though your post is like 2 years old and I'm a complete stranger! Hope you have a great day! :)

Randy said...

It took me a year but I just found your comment. This blog has been closed for some time and I just popped into delete all the spam comments that have built up over the last couple of years. This blog contains a very special account of this garden and I hope you continued to read about it. Thank you for your kind comment. :0)